Every time I go to work, I pass a garage door company that always has some sort of inspirational saying on their sign. The title above is what it reads right now. It felt like a fitting title to the thoughts I am about to share.
Last night, after all the busyness of the day faded away, I sobbed in the quietness of our house. It started as a little thing, really. A couple moths were fluttering around the kitchen. Those damn moths! What are they doing invading my house now, in the middle of winter? I thought we had gotten rid of them several months ago. This is just great! But it's just some dumb moths. The worst problem we have right now is a handful of little moths. Do I feel guilt? Is it shame? Do I cry because I feel bad for myself for having so much that I don't deserve? Or do I mourn all the other people of the world that have so much less than me? We are not entitled to the things we have. We would not have had a debt-free wedding or owned our house without the generosity of our families. Not even just our parents, but generations before them. A legacy of educated minds, wisdom, kindness, frugality, and giving hearts have trickled down into our lives. We are not better than others because of it. Others are not less-than because they don't have that privilege. I feel an overwhelming need to share this privilege, but it isn't something I have in my hands to give, and that frustrates me. I didn't create my own freedom or my right to vote. Complete strangers separated by miles and decades have molded this country for me. I feel powerless. I feel undeserving. I was born into my environment, I am blessed, and it isn't fair. It isn't fair that I can get an education, but others can't. It isn't fair that I can go shopping without a male relative with me, but other women are confined to the walls of their home, inferior, and invisible. And it isn't fair that other people are born into war-torn countries or crime-ridden neighborhoods when I can go out alone at night and be safe. What right do I have to hoard my blessings and keep other people out? The circumstances could just as easily have been turned around. I want to use my hands to tear down walls, not build them. I want to include, not alienate.
Learning how to interact with the world is hard. I've spent so many years avoiding the news and politics. I told myself that I couldn't possibly understand it. I told myself that, as a very emotionally sensitive person, I couldn't handle knowing the struggles of the world. Just the right words from a news channel could spiral my mind into suicidal thinking. There is definitely some truth to that. I think we all have a limit. We all feel passionate about certain issues. This stew of boiling emotions disrupts our sleep, our dreams, our happiness, our sense of progression of the human race. I live in a sense of fear now that my health insurance is threatened to be taken away because I live with mental illness (Before the Affordable Care Act, I was denied it). I fear for my LGBTQ friends and family who have fought so hard for equal rights and now have them threatened yet again. I fear for everyone that is not white and not Christian in my country. I am angry with myself that even though I feel strongly about freedom and equality, I still clutch my purse a little tighter when a black man walks by me on the sidewalk. This feeling completely unjustified. A feeling based on stereotypes, and nothing more.
I have a glimmer of hope inside of me for this country and this world because I believe in something bigger. I do believe in a God. And I believe that this God is much bigger than all the shit that's being stirred up in our world right now. God's love is so big that it goes beyond gender. God's love is so enormous that it spreads to every culture. His love is shown and shared by so many religions in their own beautiful ways. The diversity He has created is stunning. Why would God limit his abundant gifts to just men? Or just white people? Or just Christians? And the rest are cast off to hell? Oh no, he is bigger than all of that. And we need to be bigger, too. We need to cast our net of unconditional love, gifts, talents, blessings, shelter, food, compassion and empathy to everyone. We all have much to learn from each other. After all, the one thing we have in common is all being human. A thread that links us all together.
No, I don't understand how laws are made. I don't understand what all the political parties mean. I don't understand the different jobs I am voting for at the polls. But I do know that supposedly this country is run by one person surrounded by some other like-minded individuals. But I think that is bullshit. This country is run by the millions of inhabitants within its borders. And these millions of people believe in creating and maintaining an environment where love is king. And there is no way one human being stands a chance breaking that down. Love trumps all.
