In light of the recent school shooting in Florida, I'd like to offer a mental health perspective on having access to guns. Now, I hate politics, and I don't care to get into the nitty gritty details of the issues at hand, but as someone who has dealt with and continues to be challenged with depression, I know a gun does not belong in my possession. If there is not a law that would guarantee that, then I think there should be. I'm not about to go shoot up a bunch of innocent people, and the vast majority of people living with mental illness are more a danger to themselves than others. They are more likely to be victims rather than perpetrators.
You might describe me as being "in recovery," but there is still a delicate line there. What life circumstances would trigger me? What trauma would crumble my will to keep going? A job loss? A friend's suicide? Both have happened in the past couple weeks, and I'll admit I am pleasantly surprised at my ability to get through these circumstances in a healthy way. I have reached a level of self awareness that I can generally sense and express when I am a danger to myself. I will tell someone if I don't think I should be alone. I enlist my husband to lock my medications away when I am feeling "off," as a precaution. We don't keep hard liquor in the house, because in a moment of weakness, having ready access to that isn't safe. For me to be able to get to a point where I can express those needs, and for my family and friends to respond to those needs properly has taken YEARS of therapy and more so, breaking down the barriers and stigma that keep loved ones from talking about these things openly.
I am in a place in my journey where I can admit that having access or ownership to a gun is not in my best interest. The risk of me using it to hurt myself is tiny, but the risk is still there. Any risk is too much and not worth it. I don't think there are a lot of people who struggle with mental health issues that would be able to keep themselves safe on their own. It takes a lot of humility and self care to find yourself in a place that you can do that- to admit that you need to rely on others for help, that you have nothing to prove by going it alone. A gun law that would help make the decision of safe gun ownership through screening would be advantageous. I don't believe this because it will keep guns out of murderer's hands (although that would be cool, too); I believe this because it would keep guns out of the hands of people like myself who are at risk of hurting themselves. Sure, it feels a little like being a kid and not having control of yourself. Grown ups don't like being told what they can and can't do or have. I'm strong willed and stubborn, so when my mom or sister say, "Maybe you shouldn't have such-and-such in the house for your own safety," sometimes it makes me want to throw a tantrum. "I'll do whatever I want! I can take care of myself! I don't need any help! I'm not a child" That's the thing about being an adult- you need to show willingness. It isn't just about getting your way and having anything you want.
In the days following my coworker's suicide, sitting alone at home, craving a heaping dose of something strong to numb the grief I was feeling, I thought to myself, "My damn family knowing what's best for me! It just pisses me off! I guess it's good that we don't have any liquor in the house after all, even if I thought I was completely in control." The thing is with control- you have it, until you don't. Just like an insurance policy, you never know when disaster will strike; you will feel good knowing that you took the precautions in the first place.
I view being granted a gun as something you need to earn and qualify for. We take classes and tests to drive a car, we need to meet certain criteria to be granted medications, there are hoops to jump through with licenses and certifications and applications to get stuff in this world for the safety of ourselves and others. Some of those hoops are stupid, worthless busywork, but a lot of times they are in everyone's best interest. So why shouldn't it be the same with owning a gun?
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